Let's clear the air

I didn't know that you still will "ungkit" history during the secondary school days. It's a history, that we can take "moral of the story" from it but not to "ungkit balik" like there's still pending issues from that time until now. And here I am still trying to change myself to a better a person. I don't think I get "grumpy" without a reason like you said. And, an info to you - my mood change because of the "sekeliling" also. I guess because I'm bit temperamental and my mood is unpredictable, most people labeled me as arrogant. But I don't get it when you called me "grumpy"!

Did you realise that sometimes the changing of my mood has got to do with you too? What you did and what you said do affect my mood and my feelings. And I'm trying very damn hard not to hurt your feelings. You can't blame me totally because sometimes or should I say most of the time I don't know when you are hurt because of me, and you wanna know why? That's because you tend to keep your feelings to yourself sometimes - correction - most of the time, looks like I repeat twice. When I'm actually there to lend you my ears to listen to anything and my shoulder for you to lean on. Why don't we talk everytime we are hurt with one another, so, these kind of things doesn't repeat again!

This time around I don't know who to point finger to. But I know I'm kinda "terkilan" with your attitude last week. I know someone is picking you up and I'm fine with it, seriously. The thing is you didn't even take a look at me, "jalan menonong je", you already cross the road. I know I should play my part too, but I'm not sure which. I was kinda waiting for your messages at least, just to show your concern, walking alone+at night+raining, since we're in this togethter. A week I wait. Nothing. Is it you who don't really care or me who's making these into a big deal?

Let me play a part as a friend in your life that you can rely to at all times, my dear. Anything, if you need help, someone to talk to when you're stress or feeling down or even when you're happy at any time. Not just someone who you look up when you need someone to "teman" you.

I'm truly sorry if these past years have been hard for you as a friend to Nur Asiah. This is me. I've learned my lesson and still learning, and I need someone to guide me along this way. Let's put a stop to all this so-called nonsense. I'm sure there's some mistakes from your side and my side. And I'm not saying you're totally in the wrong and I'm the correct one. Actually I'm also tired of this "buat muka"... So~ it's up to you now on how you wanna see things after reading this! I'm still right there if you need someone to "teman" you. So yeah~

signing off @ 01:01:22