Let's clear the air

I didn't know that you still will "ungkit" history during the secondary school days. It's a history, that we can take "moral of the story" from it but not to "ungkit balik" like there's still pending issues from that time until now. And here I am still trying to change myself to a better a person. I don't think I get "grumpy" without a reason like you said. And, an info to you - my mood change because of the "sekeliling" also. I guess because I'm bit temperamental and my mood is unpredictable, most people labeled me as arrogant. But I don't get it when you called me "grumpy"!

Did you realise that sometimes the changing of my mood has got to do with you too? What you did and what you said do affect my mood and my feelings. And I'm trying very damn hard not to hurt your feelings. You can't blame me totally because sometimes or should I say most of the time I don't know when you are hurt because of me, and you wanna know why? That's because you tend to keep your feelings to yourself sometimes - correction - most of the time, looks like I repeat twice. When I'm actually there to lend you my ears to listen to anything and my shoulder for you to lean on. Why don't we talk everytime we are hurt with one another, so, these kind of things doesn't repeat again!

This time around I don't know who to point finger to. But I know I'm kinda "terkilan" with your attitude last week. I know someone is picking you up and I'm fine with it, seriously. The thing is you didn't even take a look at me, "jalan menonong je", you already cross the road. I know I should play my part too, but I'm not sure which. I was kinda waiting for your messages at least, just to show your concern, walking alone+at night+raining, since we're in this togethter. A week I wait. Nothing. Is it you who don't really care or me who's making these into a big deal?

Let me play a part as a friend in your life that you can rely to at all times, my dear. Anything, if you need help, someone to talk to when you're stress or feeling down or even when you're happy at any time. Not just someone who you look up when you need someone to "teman" you.

I'm truly sorry if these past years have been hard for you as a friend to Nur Asiah. This is me. I've learned my lesson and still learning, and I need someone to guide me along this way. Let's put a stop to all this so-called nonsense. I'm sure there's some mistakes from your side and my side. And I'm not saying you're totally in the wrong and I'm the correct one. Actually I'm also tired of this "buat muka"... So~ it's up to you now on how you wanna see things after reading this! I'm still right there if you need someone to "teman" you. So yeah~

signing off @ 01:01:22

Tired-Exhausted-Shagged

It's like I'm on the Viking. You're up then you're down and you're up again untill the ride ends. Tired mentally definitely affect my physical. Hate that when it happens!

Funny thing is, more workload doesn't help to take my mind of him actually. Instead, his face keep popping and appearing in my mind.
"Namun harus ku lepaskan cinta, ketika ku bersujud"

Yup, I need a break! From all these.
Maybe by the beach or just a place where I can let go about it for a while. Not running away from reality but just taking a break. December is my plan! I need a companion! Anyone? You?

One thing I miss the most is talking to my fren. Last time before I started working, I got the chance to chat with my fren for a few hours about anything. But since I started working, haven't got the chance to chat with my fren - yet.

And speaking of friend...
"Thank you very much! Well done! Nice job you got there! Let me pat your back! Not a glance! I really take my hat off!"

signing off @ 22:45:50

'Crushing or Crashing Wishlists'?

Once I wished I never know you. But Alhamdulillah~ I get to know you!
Once I wished I never met you. But Alhamdulillah~ We've met!
Once I wished you're mine. Later, I hoped you'll find the one!
Once I wished you're hers. Later, I regretted because you chose her!

I've made my decision but when it came to the finalized part I started to wonder over it again. Thats what made me still trying to holding on. However, I'm not even sure, what am I waiting for. The end to this fantasy? Which I am 100% sure, either I ending up with happiness or broken-hearted. Either she wins or I lose.

I just wished I never know him and her, just to take care of my own heart!

signing off @ 23:21:29

Busy Bumble Bee

Man! What a hectic week~
Spending 11 hours every day at work.
Now I can understand what you meant, "Welcome home!"
Another one, just few days ago, "Asiah, kau keje sini jangan kurus sudah eh!"
Thanks for the encouraging words ar, dear colleagues!
I'll bear those advices in mind!

Tired?! Not just tired tired. Datuk-cucu-cicit-king-trojan of tired!
But what I like is the feeling of relieved when I've finished the task assigned to me!

Speaking of assigning... I was appointed to be the Emcee at the Federation.
Seriously man! This is something I've never done before in my whole entire life. In front of the MP some more! My most concern, is my voice - there's like vibration in my voice if I'm in nervous situation. Some glitch at the beginning, later part every thing went smooth and well, Alhamdulillah! Luckily, my encouragement pill came. Hope can get the vidz.

For now, I'm typing with my eyes half close + yawning-non-stopping~ Adios!

signing off @ 01:09:12

Keep it Shut!

Someone said that our friendship is getting better in times, teasing, laughing, joking etc.

But, I still have my doubt!

Having a crush on someone in silence has always been my forte.

For how long? One month? two month? Six month? A year?

Silly me for loving you in silence, for in silence I find no rejection~

signing off @ 00:18:22

Amirah~This is for you!

This one is for you...

Happy birthday to you... happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to Amirah... Happy birthday to you!

Happy 19th Birthday, Babe!

Nothing special from me.

But I hope our Friendship is the best present you've ever received from me.

Enjoy~

signing off @ 00:00:00

Eid Mubarak!

To all Muslim peeps...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Do forgive me for all my wrongdoings.

Tersalah cakap ke, termengumpat ke, tersakitkan hati ke dan "ter" yang sewaktu dengannya.

As an ordinary human beings, I can't promise that I won't repeat it! (^_^')

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Assalamualaikum, Cinta!
Selamat Hari Raya, Cinta!

signing off @ 14:15:04